Wet, Hot, American Summer Outfits

I know it's only Spring, but I'm not going to let that stop me from planning my outfits for Summer. And let me just say, the great thing about planning virtual outfits is you don't have to worry about how much anything costs! Although, for your sakes I tried to include some practical items. As a result, I have done things like juxtapose a pair of $300 sunglasses with a $15 vintage heart locket. That kind of fashion irony is my favorite though and I strongly believe in dishin' it out for worthy items and then making up for it in the thrift store. Enjoy!

This is my beach bombshell outfit. You should hum the song "Pineapple Princess" to yourself while you read this. Right away I want to tell you that, yes, these shoes make me want to die. I love the chunky heel and the woven upper. I think I need to buy them so I can pretend like I am in an old Elvis movie. Secondly, one-pieces have been really cute lately and wearing one does not necesarily make you fat or a mom anymore. What's great about the jean material is that you can potentially wear this as a really hot top and no one would even know that it is a bathing suit (yet another bonus to the one-piece). I went for a sort of 50's island feel with this outfit, so I threw in the cat-eye sunglasses.  I really think the cat-eyes are one item you can't go wrong with this Summer. That said, finding a matching beach umbrella may seem like a trivial detail, but I will say that investing in a stylish umbrella is a good idea, it really brings that extra touch to your look. Everyone will be suprised that they even noticed your umbrella and that they like it enough to tell you so.

Vintage Umbrella and cat-eye sunglasses from Etsy.

Pineapple Island Heels and Blue Jean Queen Swimdress from Anthropologie.

Continuing with the island theme, here is my Hawaii-inspired outfit (you can keep on humming Pineapple Princess if you want, it's still relevant). We've got a surprisingly cute hawaiian dress, some rose colored glasses to look at the world through, a vintage Hawaiian clutch aaand a pair of super cute shoes, which I actually just bought and am wearing right now. What I like about this outfit is that it is ambiguously vintage, like you aren't quite sure which decade it is. I think it's probably a mix of 50's and 70's.

Vintage sunglasses, dress and clutch from Etsy.

Shoes by Seychelles available from Zappos.

One more look for the tropics. This is my chic & natural beach look. Again, love this retro suit. To me, something about the bottom being more like shorts than a bikini justifies wearing this around as semi-outfit even before making it to the beach. The earrings, purse and shoes add a modern twist to the vintage swimsuit and the neutral color scheme of the accesories helps to tone down the print. Plus, every girl needs to remain hydrated - especially at the beach!

Vintage bikini from Etsy

Earrings and Bag from Anthro

Shoes from Zappos

Klean Kanteen from their website

We've left the island and we are sailing now! Not real sailing though, you don't want to look like a flithy, scurve- riddled lout. So, here is my nautical outfit. Nautical is very in right now. You will have no trouble finding accesories or clothes to go with this theme, they are everywhere. I like this romper from Dear Creatures though, I like the 70's vibe it has. I've paired it with some very loud shoes, a nautical necklace, a navy clutch and an outfit for a child, if you have one! I saw that little girl's jumper and I just could not resist. It is paired with a handmade toy boat and a cute sailor's bow.

Platforms from Irregular Choice

Nautical necklace, vintage clutch, and child outfit & boat from Etsy

Romper by Dear Creatures

This is my land lubber look, for when you reach the shore. Faded red shorts, with a delicate tank, girlhood necklace, flaming hot sandals and amazing cat-eye sunglasses! I think it is the perfect balance between innocence and sexiness.

Sandals and tank from Anthro.

Necklace from Etsy.

Shorts from Ebay.

Overpriced, vintage sunglasses from Free People

This is my advanced land lubber look. It's for when you've been on the mainland for awhile and you've been watching a lot of Woody Allen movies lately. So, ala Annie Hall we have some large shorts and of course a hat, but I've paired it with some slightly nautical heels (because you miss the sea) and a feminine tank with vintage bag to soften it up. I really like these shorts because they are like Annie Hall meets sailor, the city dweller and the sea.

Top from J. Crew

Shorts by Rachel Antonoff

Vintage heels, hat and bag from Etsy